


My Love, Your Possession

by lou1992



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Bottom Lotor, Flashbacks, Lotor good and deserves better, M/M, Magic, Mentions of obssession, Minor Character Death, Rough Sex, Sendak an ass, Some sweet moments, everyone is human, there is some blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 16:54:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15223586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lou1992/pseuds/lou1992
Summary: He never wanted this to happen. He never meant for it to happen. He knew tensions were high with the war suddenly taking a turn for the worst, for Zarkon, his father, anyway, but he never expected his lover to suddenly do that. To take a swing at Zarkon was imminent death. And that’s exactly what happened.





	My Love, Your Possession

**Author's Note:**

> So I think of Sendak as being ten years older than Lotor in this fic. It is a bit rushed and I'm sorry about that, but I was trying to keep it as a one shot. I don't really make stories like this nor do I know of anyone who have or tried committing suicide, so I don't know the thought process of what goes on in their mind. This is just a story with fictional characters and I hope you all like it. Please leave a comment when you're done and tell me your thoughts.

He never wanted this to happen. He never meant for it to happen. He knew tensions were high with the war suddenly taking a turn for the worst, for Zarkon, his father, anyway, but he never expected his lover to suddenly do that. To take a swing at Zarkon was imminent death. And that’s exactly what happened.

If only you had listened to me, Lotor thought as he watched Sendak's body thrown into the crocodile infested moat from where he sat on the stone window sill of his room. He hoped he looked uninterested in his secret lover’s death, because inside he felt like he was dying.

“Your bath is ready sire,” one of the maids said as the rest scurried out.

Lotor only nodded, not even bothering to look to see if the young lady had gone. He didn’t feel like having a bath right now, nor was he going to have one ever again if he isn’t interrupted. After a few more minutes, Lotor finally looked to see his chambers were empty and stood up to lock his door. With that done, he went back to his window and gazed along the edge of the forest to the mountains beyond, his eyes pinpointing to the hunting cabin where he first met Sendak. He was, what, fifteen at the time.

…

*Flashback*

Panting and sweating, Lotor could feel his energy waning as he ran through the woods. He stopped for only a moment to catch his breath, but at the sound of a howl, he picked up where he left off.   
There was nowhere to hide, not from these Galran wolves. They were nicknamed hellhounds for a reason. If only he can get back to the castle walls, but he was too far away and he was starting to have a difficult time breathing thanks to the cold air. 

Hope ran through him, however, when he saw smoke wafting above the trees just up ahead. It helped him kick his legs forwards harder and faster just as he heard the snap of twigs and leaves followed by the running steps of wolves getting closer. He ran until he made it to a clearing of trees and saw a small but sturdy cabin just a few meters further. He was out of breath before he even made it to the door and collapsed in front of it, strength gone. He gasped as he struggled to sit up enough to grab the latch to the door, but he fell as his vision went hazy.

Lotor could hear them behind him, now in the clearing, watching him. He turned onto his back and looked back at the wolves with frightened eyes, his heart feeling as if it was about to burst out of his chest. His vision darkened and he shook his head to clear it, but it didn’t help and the wolves slowly advanced. He was hyperventilating and he knew it, but he couldn’t find it in him to stop himself, terror overcoming common sense.

Lotor thought the worst when the wolf in front suddenly yelped and scampered off with a limp, an arrow in its hind leg. The rest fell back a few steps and looked around them, snarling at the forest’s edge. He saw nothing, but they obviously did as they had started towards a corner of the clearing. Another wolf, the smallest of the pack, ran off with a whine while the others bravely trudged on. It soon became apparent that the running wolf was smarter as a man suddenly jumped out of the brush and ran his large sword through the animal closest to him.

He didn’t see what happened next, having passed out.  
…

When Lotor awoke, he found himself laying on a bed and covered in thick animal hides. It was dark outside and he knew his parents would be sending out a search party here soon or already has. It was then he noticed he was inside the cabin, a fire blazing in the fireplace and a kettle on a hook over it. He looked around and saw the place was much to be desired; no table, no cabinets, clothes littered the floor, and the floor looked almost rotted through if the hole in the floor was anything to go by. But he also noticed he was alone…

The door slammed open, making Lotor jump, and a large man stomped in, dumping his gear onto the floor. Lotor froze where he lay as the man proceeded to undress until he was in just his undergarments. The clothing he had just taken off were covered in blood. The stranger took the hot kettle off the hook with his bare hands and poured it into a metal washing basin. He took the cloth that was inside it and began washing blood off his face and hands.

“I see you’re awake,” the man said in a deep voice, surprising Lotor. “Want to tell me why the prince is out in the middle of the woods with no protection?”

Lotor said nothing as he watched the man, not trusting him. He was bulky with a metal arm that moved like his fleshed one; magic done to it no doubt. His head was covered in dark brown hair that tickled the back of his neck as the front was short and fell over his forehead and the sides of his face. A light brown, so light it almost looked yellow, eye sat deeply in his face underneath a thick eyebrow. A tan darkened his skin.

“A little pigheaded aren’t you?” the man said as he stood back up to toss the dirty water out the door. He eyed Lotor, making the young prince shift uncomfortably at the stare and noticed the man had only one eye, the other covered in a piece of brown cloth wrapped around his head. “Not very smart too.”

Lotor bristled at that and sat up with a glare. “How dare you speak to me that way! I am prince Lotor! I could have you arrested!”

The man smirked maliciously as he strutted to the bed. “Youre the prince of nothing out here. I’d be long gone before your body even cooled.”

The prince shivered in fright and backed up as far as he could before he reached the wall that acted as the headboard. “Are you going to kill me?”

“Heh, if I wanted to be killed, sure,” the man replied sarcastically as he towered over the prince.

Lotor looked at him in confusion. “But you just said-“

“Sure I could kill you and be long gone, but it doesn’t matter how far I go. Haggar won’t stop searching until she’s found the person who killed her son. And that terrifies me enough to not even lay a harming a hand on you,” the man cuts off, booping Lotor on the nose with a smirk.

Lotor wiggles his nose before rubbing it. “What are you going to do?”

“Take you back home in the morning and hopefully never see you out here again. Now sleep.” The man laid down on the floor in front of the fire and tucked an arm behind his head.

“Wait, who are you?”

“No one. Now sleep.”

“What’s you’re name?”

The man huffed in annoyance and turned his head to the side to see the prince staring curiously at him. “What’s it to you?”

“I wish to know the name of my rescuer.”

The stranger rolled his eyes. “How about this, I tell you my name if you tell me what you were doing out here.”

Lotor hesitantly nodded in agreement. “I was just trying to get away from everything. My father’s disappointment, my mother’s overbearing need to teach me magic, and everything in between.” He looked down at his hands forlornly as he thought back to what made him run off. His father told him how disappointed he was in having a son who acted more of a daughter and the pressure from his mother finally got to him.

“Sendak.”

Lotor’s head shot up. “Huh?”

“My name is Sendak.”

“Thank you for saving me, Sendak.”

Sendak grunted and closed his eyes.

There was nothing more to talk about and Lotor laid backed down to sleep. While it took a while, Sendak’s deep breathing eventually lulled him to sleep.

*End Flashback*

…

Lotor let a small smirk form on his face as he remembered what happened afterwards. After Sendak brought him home, Lotor officially made the stranger his bodyguard in front of his parents, forcing the man to say yes as he was afraid what Zarkon and Haggar would do if he said no. Sendak had become his rock, teaching him how to fight, to hunt, to think outside the box. It came to the point where Lotor had become a better fighter than Sendak and much smarter. And it turned the man on instead of making him jealous.

Sendak may have been an asshole and a prude, but he had some good points too. Otherwise, Lotor would have never been attracted to him. Zarkon had liked the man right off the start, especially when he heard how Sendak killed five Galran wolves by himself. Haggar though, never even tried and always stuck her nose up at him.  
Lotor glanced away from the woods and stared at his bed, feeling his eyes tear up as he remembered when he first began to have feelings for the older man.

…

*Flashback*

On the edge of seventeen, Lotor had become rather ill. He laid in his bed, coughing, wheezing and spitting up mucous into a bowl. He had become deathly pale and was sweating, making it hard to stay hydrated. Sendak was busy at a tournament in another town and didn’t know that his care had become sick. Thanks to his father, Sendak was there less and less, being used as Zarkon’s star champion in jousts, swordfights, and fistfights. And Lotor missed him despite his cruel teasing and lude comments.

He coughed deeply and felt some mucous dislodge, flying out of his mouth and into the crook of his arm where he covered his mouth. He didn’t bother cleaning it up and laid there as he wheezed, eyes sealed shut thanks to a layer of eye crust that collected. He felt as if he was dying and wished he could at least hear Sendak one last time.

“You look like shit.”

Lotor’s heart jumped in his chest and reached a hand out, breath picking up. “Sendak?”

A much larger and rough hand gently grabbed his, cradling it. “I’m here snowflake.” It was a nickname Sendak gave him because of Lotor’s white hair and pale skin and he usually hated it, but the prince welcomed it right now. “Has anybody been taking care of you?”

“The medics have been doing all they can,” Lotor replied between breaths, voice a bit husky.

“Hmph.” 

Lotor heard the clinking of glass and guessed that Sendak was looking through the bottles of medicines the healers left behind. He then heard water being poured into a bowl and felt a wet cloth cover his eyes. Sendak left it there as he walked to the door and called for a maid. There was some whispering before he came back and used the cloth to wipe off the softened crust from his eyes.

Lotor blinked slowly, glad to finally be able to see and looked at Sendak, blushing when he saw that the man was shirtless and showing off all his battle scars. He reached out his hand again and it was once again grabbed, a look of concern covering Sendak’s features. It was a look he had never seen on the other’s face before.

“Don’t worry, I will take care of you,” Sendak whispered, bringing the hand up to his lips, kissing the knuckles.

Lotor’s blush deepened, hidden by his already flushed face. He felt something inside him grow and knew what it was, but decided it would be best to keep it to himself. He said nothing and fell into a deep sleep that would be full of nightmares and hallucinations.

*End Flashback*

…

And he was there for Lotor the whole time he was sick, never leaving his side and going against Zarkon’s wishes. Sendak made his own medicine, his mother having been a herbalist, and did a better job of taking care and healing Lotor. His mother didn’t even bother using her magic on Lotor, saying he needed to build an immunity to whatever was ailing him. Well, he would have died if it wasn’t for Sendak.

Lotor tapped a finger on the heavy wooden dresser next to his bed a few times before opening the single drawer and pulled out a simple yet elegant knife. The double sided blade was made from a black dragon’s scale, the very one that was stolen from Zarkon a few years ago by a paladin of Volton, a special and selective group of soldiers of Altea. Their-well Zarkon’s- enemy. The handle was made from a very rare cherry wood tree that Sendak had gone and found himself. It was a birthday gift made for him by Sendak. That was the day they first kissed.

…

*Flashback*

Twenty year old Lotor huffed as he blew hair from his face, annoyed at the few strands that escaped from his hair tie. He was getting frustrated with this game of cat and mouse Sendak had started. Right now, Lotor was the mouse and he was barely winning. They were deep in the woods, a place unfamiliar to him, and daylight was starting to fade.

He yelped when he was suddenly tackled from behind and fell to the forest floor, breath leaving him as a large object fell on top of him.

“Got you,” a voice growled in his ear, making Lotor shiver in want. “You’ve surprisingly gotten better.”

Lotor let out a snort. “I let you catch me.”

“Sure.”

“Get off.”

“Nope.”

Lotor let out an annoyed sigh before he threw his head back and clonked Sendak right in the nose. The older man yelped, relaxing his hold just enough that Lotor could turn onto his back and with all his strength, kicked Sendak off him. He followed after him and sat on top of Sendak’s chest, holding the man down by the wrists. Blood dripped from Sendak’s nose and Lotor looked down at the other with a smirk.

“Done yet?” Lotor teased, fighting off a blush.

Sendak growled in annoyance as he struggled to get free. “Either you’re getting stronger or you’re getting fat."

Lotor snickered. “You know it’s not the latter.”

“Fuck you,” the older man snarled, finally jerking a hand free and punching Lotor across the face.

Lotor fell to the side from the blow and rolled when Sendak tried to follow, jumping up onto his feet. “You know I’m becoming stronger, probably more so than you.” He shifted into a fighting stance, gauging Sendak.

But Sendak just sat up and stayed their, relaxed. His face held annoyance and something else that Lotor couldn’t place. “I know and I’m glad.”

“Then why do you look like someone stole your sword?” Lotor stayed in his stance, knowing how well Sendak is at bringing people’s guard down before attacking.

“Because you won’t need me anymore.”

The prince gasped quietly and froze, eyes widening. After a few short moments, he lowered his hands and sat next to Sendak. “Ill always need you, Sendak. It doesn’t matter how strong I become, I will always want you there.”

Sendak let out a snort and smirked. “Ok.”

It was quiet between them for a while, the sounds of wild life and the winding blowing between the reeds filling the silence. Sendak suddenly straightened as if remembering something and dug into the deep pockets of his trousers. He pulled out a small but long box and handed it to Lotor.

“Here. Happy day of birth.”

Lotor looked down at the box in surprise. Sendak wasn’t one for giving gifts and never has he ever given a birthday gift before. The prince inhaled sharply upon opening the box, running fingers along the handle of the blade that nestled inside it. He recognized the dragon scale and the Altean cherry wood… Sendak would have to have gone deep into Altea territory to get it, putting himself in danger.

“You like it? I spent months making it. I had kept some of the scales the black dragon had shed before it was taken and the wood-“

Lotor cut him off by grabbing the collar of his tunic and tugging him down to his lips. Sendak’s eyes had widened in surprise and stayed that way when Lotor pulled away.

“You know it’s illegal to do that with another man,” Sendak whispered, still close to the prince.

“I don’t care,” Lotor replied huskily, eyes half lidded. The flirting and the light touching that started all those months ago, he thought Sendak was just messing with him. But the knife… 

“We can’t do this out in the open.”

“I don’t care,” Lotor repeated. He gasped when Sendak forced his mouth open with his tongue and wrapped his arms around the older man, letting himself be lowered to the ground.

*End Flashback*

…

They probably would have gone further if they hadn’t been interrupted by a hunting dog, followed by its’ master. Lotor has been kissed before, but never dominated like that and it filled him with such heat and want. He wouldn’t see him for another week as Sendak had been sent out to another tournament.

Lotor eyed the knife, seeing his reflection in the blade. He brought it to his neck, closing his eyes. He took a deep breath, ready to pull it across his throat, but stopped. He yelled out a curse and threw the blade across the room, falling to the floor with a sob. He dropped his head into his hands and gripped his hair. He couldn’t do this, live without Sendak, but he couldn’t find it in himself to run the blade along his neck.

Through wet eyes, Lotor glanced up at the door when he felt the presence of magic just outside it. He recognized it and glared hatefully.

“Lotor, the paladin’s of Voltron have been spotted just outside the city,” an old but firm voice started, “prepare for battle.” The presence fade and Lotor was once again alone.

He wanted to scream and shout, but didn’t want to alarm his mother of his agony. He sat there, not bothering in getting ready. Let them come. Let them destroy this city and its people for all he cared. He did get up to grab his knife and stand by the window again, gazing out at the moat where Sendak had been thrown in.

He loved Sendak. It wasn’t returned, he knew, but he didn’t want to be apart from the man. It was obsession that drove Sendak to stay at Lotor’s side and possession that had him killing suitors, making them look like accidents. Lotor was engaged several times but every woman disappeared or died in some tragic accident. He knew Zarkon and Haggar knew that it wasn’t just coincidences, but they never thought Sendak would do such a thing.

Lotor of course told Sendak to stop killing innocent women, but the older man responded by pushing him up against a wall by a hand on the throat and took Lotor then and there; claiming Lotor was his.

Lotor gave a heartless chuckle as his mind wandered back to the time they first had sex. It was a week after their first kiss, when Sendak had gotten back from the tournament. During that time, his mother had found Lotor a wife and said the wedding would be next month. The woman had disappeared before the end of the week. Lotor knew exactly who it was.

…

*Flashback*

Lotor paced the length of his chambers, a scowl growing on his face after he heard that another fiancé had disappeared. How did Sendak hear about him being engaged? The man wasn’t supposed to be back until tomorrow.

His door opened and in walked Sendak, still in his armor. The smirk fell when Lotor turned glaring eyes at him. “What?”

“You can’t keep doing this,” Lotor growled, stopping in the middle of the room.

“Doing what?”

“Killing those innocent women! They didn’t ask for this.”

Sendak’s lip grew into a snarl and he stalked towards Lotor, who backed up until he was against a wall. The older man towered over him and shoved the prince back by a hand on the throat, squeezing just enough to make Lotor gasp for breath. He leaned in close until lips pressed against the prince’s ear. “You are mine.”  
Lotor clawed at Sendak’s hand, the edge of his vision darkening as the other squeezed tighter.  
“No one else can have you. No one else is allowed to touch you.” Sendak loosened his hold but did not let go.

Lotor took in a deep breath. “But you can’t keep doing this. Killing them.”

Sendak scoffed. “Your emotions make you weak. Your need to protect, your need for justice. It’s disgusting. But what is it about you that draws me to you.”

Lotor didn’t have an answer. He knew this relationship between them will only end in pain, but he can’t help but let himself be pulled along.

Sendak let go and Lotor slumped against him, taking in his scent. “Your hair, it’s so white and long. Your skin so pale and smooth, like a woman’s. Hands so slender, but strong. You are so beautiful.”

Lotor gulped as heat filled him, unused to comments coming from Sendak. “What are you going to do?”

The older man hmed as he shoved his face into Lotor’s neck, giving it a long lick that had the prince groan. “I’m going to undress, open you up, and fuck you against this wall.”

Lotor let out a shuddering breath. “Please do.”

And Sendak did. He slowly undressed Lotor, teasing his body with rough finger tips and chapped lips. And Sendak pulled off his armor from the waist down. He grabbed one of Lotor’s legs and hiked it over a hip. There was nothing to slick up his fingers so he shoved them into the prince’s mouth until they were soaked in saliva and was surprisingly gentle in stretching Lotor open. 

When deemed stretched enough, Sendak let out a wad of spit onto his dick, grabbed Lotor by the ass and hauled him up, and pressed into him slowly. The prince wrapped his arms and legs around Sendak, letting out a pained moan as the older man filled him. This wasn’t the first time Lotor had bottomed, but it was with Sendak and he wasn’t at all small.

“So tight, like a virgin. But we both know that’s not true and those boys have nothing on me.” Sendak had only waited a short second before beginning to thrust into Lotor at a fast pace.

Lotor’s eyes widened as pain filled him, feeling as if he was about to be split into two. He clawed at Sendak’s back, leaving marks in his leather armor.

“No,” the older man huffed out. “I have to claim you, inside and out. Show you who you belong to.”

Lotor choked out a gasp as something inside him was hit, shooting pleasure up his spine. 

“There it is.”

The prince placed his head against Sendak’s shoulder and felt himself relax as pleasure took hold and replaced the pain. He closed his eyes as the other’s scent surrounded him, gasps and moans escaping him.

“Listen to you. Moaning for me and only me. Only I can bring you this much pleasure.” Sendak bit Lotor’s shoulder, breaking the skin and making the prince pull his head back to shout in pain.

Lotor threw his head back against the wall and gazed at Sendak, who’s mouth was covered in blood, with tear filled eyes. 

“Look at that face, it makes me want to bruise it.” Sendak’s thrusts stilled as he walked over to the bed and dropped Lotor down onto it, accidentally slipping out. He grabbed the prince’s legs and threw them over his shoulder, pushing forward so that Lotor’s knees almost brushed against his ears. Sendak pushed back in, in one quick thrust, making Lotor cry out at the new angle.

It was painful and good, making Lotor cry out in pleasure and grab onto Sendak’s thigh. The older man was hitting that spot over and over with each thrust, drawing the prince closer to completion.

“I can see you need to come. Do it. Come for me.” Sendak grabbed a hold of Lotor’s prick with his flesh hand and began jerking him off roughly.

Lotor came hard with a silent shout, squirting all over his own face. Sendak paused as the prince came before starting up again, making Lotor squirm, becoming oversensitive. The older man licked the white substance from his fingers with a smirk before wrapping the same hand around Lotor’s neck, squeezing.

“What’s the matter, prince? Too much for you to handle?” Sendak teased as Lotor choked, eyes rolling up as spit dripped from the corner of his mouth. “Look at you, such a sight to behold.”

Sendak didn’t stop until Lotor squirted, covering himself again, and filled Lotor with his own seed. He pulled out and fell to the side, letting go of the prince’s neck and panted with a smirk. Lotor coughed and gasped, rubbing his sore neck; blood and semen dripped out of his abused ass.  
Lotor didn’t know how he felt about this encounter, but his body buzzed with pleasure. He turned his head to the side when he felt movement and watched as Sendak sat up to remove the rest of his armor. He ran a finger along a rough looking scar that ran diagonally down his side.

Sendak’s skin shivered where he touched and looked down at the prince, noticing the blood. “Are you alright?”

Again, Lotor was surprised at the concern and smiled gently at the other. “Ill be fine. It was intense, but nothing I can’t handle.”

Sendak said nothing as he leaned down to kiss his prince.

*End Flashback*

…

Sex after that was always like that. Always rough and quick. Except for last night. Last night, Sendak was so gentle, so caring, drawing out their pleasure as he took Lotor. “I don’t love you like you do me, but I do care for you.” Sendak had said that and it worried him. Now he knew why. He tried to take on Zarkon to free Lotor, but ended losing his life instead.

Lotor let out another quiet sob just as there was an explosion and the warning bell started ringing. Voltron was here. They had come to end his father’s tyranny once and for all. Good, but best of luck to them. Zarkon was strong, thanks to Haggar’s magic, but if she were removed then Zarkon would be weak.

Lotor suddenly gasped in pain and looked down at his wrist, which was now pouring out blood. When had he done this? Did he do this subconsciously? It didn’t matter now, having been wanting to do this since Sendak death. He looked at his other wrist, suddenly feeling confident. Might as well. He sliced his unblemished wrist, wanting to hurry his death and see Sendak on the other side quicker.

He felt dizzy and slid down to the floor, slumping against the wall. His vision was becoming blurry as blood pooled around him and smiled to himself. “Hold on Sendak, I’m almost there.” A few more tears slipped down his cheeks as his eyes slipped closed.

He heard screaming coming from the hall before his door slammed opened, forcing his eyes opened. Several men and a woman dressed in Altean garbs came in, looking around the room before settling on Lotor. The woman gasped at what she saw and cover her mouth before running to kneel beside him.

Though weak, Lotor could feel her strong magic and felt it flowing from her hands to his wrists, healing them. “No, don’t. Just let me die.”

“So you can take the Galran secrets with you? I don’t think so,” one of the men said.

“Lance,” the woman warned.

“Stop,” Lotor pleaded. “I can’t live without him. I need to be with him in the afterlife.”

The men looked at each other with confused looks.

“I don’t care if you need the secrets to the kingdom, they’re all down in a hidden library in the basement.” Lotor could feel himself becoming stronger as the bleeding stopped and used what strength he had to push the woman away. He tried to stand, but he was still too weak and fell back down to the floor. The woman went to help, but she paused when Lotor held up a hand. He crawled his way to his nightstand to pull out a rather large blue stone and threw it to the woman. “Here. Use your magic on that and place it in the door. You’ll get your secrets. Now please, leave me be.”

“And leave you to die?” another of the men, dressed mostly in red, snarked and walked forward. “Whoever this man is that you can’t live without won’t want this for you.”

Lotor stayed silent, knowing this to be true for Sendak had said it himself once, and let the dark haired man throw his arm over the stranger’s shoulders, the man using such strength to hold up Lotor as he dragged him. He’ll find another way to end his life once given the chance.

A rather large man running towards them stopped the small group, but they didn’t tense or show any hostility as the man, dressed mostly in yellow, paused before them with his hands on his knees to catch his breath.

“Why is there always running involved? Can’t there be like an eating contest or something?” the man panted as he leaned back pop his back.

“Hunk, where’s Shiro?” the woman demanded, leading the group.

“He and Kuron are still fighting Zarkon,” the man, Hunk, replied as he turned his gaze towards Lotor with widened eyes. “Holy fishcakes! Is that prince Lotor?!”

“We don’t have time for that now,” the red dressed stranger said as he continued on. “We need to get to that library and find a way to destroy Zarkon.”

Lotor gave an amused chuckle, stopping the stranger once again.

“What?” 

“Kill Haggar and you weaken Zarkon. She’s the only thing keeping him alive these days,” the prince explained. “Hell, I’ll even do it for you. She wouldn’t expect it.”

“You’d kill your own mother?!” the woman yelled in disbelief, just as the other two men that weren’t holding him widened their eyes. 

“She hasn’t been my mother in a very long time.” Magic had made her greedy and dependable on it, changing her into something he no longer recognized. “If it comes to that, I will do it to end this pointless war.”

They started moving again towards the sounds of fighting and away from the library. They’ll most likely come back once everything is finished. As they made it outside, it was total mayhem. Those who could fight did, but didn’t know which side to fight for while the Galran and Altean soldiers battled mostly among themselves beside the few Galran civilians. In the middle of it all was Zarkon and two men who looked to be twins. Haggar was off to the side, feeding her husband her dark magic.

Lotor pulled away from the man holding him and grabbed the sword from his belt in one swift movement. He ignored the shout of protest from the man and made his way through the fighting to reach his mother. Before he reached her, the prince straightened himself to his full height and walked until he was behind his her.

“Finally, you’re here. Now we can-gah!” Haggar cut herself off with a pained cry, looking down at the sword that had run her through the chest. “Lotor, wha-“

“I’m sorry mother, but this needs to end.” Lotor let go of the sword, not bothering to pull it out. Haggar would heal herself quickly before the paladins even had a chance to strike down Zarkon. Speaking of which…

The Galran king suddenly let out gasp and fell to a knee, looking a bit pale. He looked over to see what had happened. “No! Lotor, what have you done?!”

“Finishing what Sendak started.” Lotor pulled a knife from his boot and threw it with precision, nailing his father right between the eyes. “Fucking bastard.”

“NO!!”

Lotor turned back towards his mother, who was crawling on the ground with an outstretched hand. The fighting had stopped, all eyes on Lotor and Haggar, surprise written on all their faces at what the prince had done. 

“You despicable-ah!” She shouted as she turned her raised hand towards Lotor.

Eyes widened as pain filled him and he fell to his knees as it felt like his insides were being ripped apart. Lotor coughed wetly and blood spurted onto the dirt, dribbling down his chin as well. The woman who saved him before was the first into action and ran towards him, kneeling beside him as he fell to his side and placed her hands on him.

“I can’t reverse the affects that Haggar is doing to him, she’s killing him!” she yelled, moving the group, Lotor now guessing they were the paladins, that she had brought with her into action.

Lotor’s body seized and he cried out in pain, the sound unrecognizable to his own ears. But it only lasted a second before his body relaxed and he felt his vision darkening. He glanced to the side to see one of the twins pull his sword from Haggar’s now dead body as the woman’s hand that had yet to leave his body began to glow a bright blue. She was healing him again.

“Don’t. Just…. Just let me die,” he panted as he felt the pain start to dissipate.

“This again? Why? Why must you die?” The woman stared at him angrily as she continued healing him. The paladins now moving about them as they helped the hurt and arrested those still under Zarkon’s thumb.

“I must meet Sendak in the after life,” Lotor replied weakly.

Her eyes widened at the name. “Sendak? You mean general Sendak? The terror from Galra?”

Lotor looked her in confusion as she rolled him onto his back. Sendak had never been a general, not to his knowledge. And if he was one he hadn’t done a very good job of it, considering how much time he spent with Lotor or at a tourna-fuck. Of course it wasn’t tournaments that Sendak was going to. How could he be such a fool? Both him and Zarkon lied to him. He let out a chuckle devoid of mirth, making the woman raise an eyebrow at him.

“I never knew he was a general,” Lotor said as the pain left, leaving him tired and feeling boneless. Tears pricked at his eyes again. “Why you? Why did I fall for such an asshole?” He brought a hand to his face, covering his eyes as the grin was replaced with a grimace, trying to hold back a sob.

When was the last time he felt like this? So full of despair and agony. Ah, it was three years ago, back when he was twenty-four. Sendak had just gotten back from a so called tournament in a medical carriage. 

…

*Flashback*

Lotor held a hand to his mouth as he watched in horror as the healers heaved Sendak out of the back of the carriage on a stretcher, the cloth tied to wooden poles drenched in blood. The older man was not in a good way and Lotor could feel the man’s life leaving him. He was about to follow when a hand grasped onto his arm harshly.

“There is nothing you can do for him now,” his mother said, her usually tanned skin looking pale today. “Let the healers do their work. Visit when he is stable, I’m sure your company will do him good.” She left, leaving Lotor stunned.

Did she know? Did she know what he and Sendak were to each other? He didn’t stick around and left the courtyard to head back inside. He tried to read a book in his room, but his mind was filled with Sendak and he couldn’t concentrate on the story. He decided to pace, but that only lasted so long before he was out his room and making his way down to the lower levels of the castle where the medical section of the castle lay.

After asking nicely where Sendak was held, a medic told him he was still under heavy healing magic. Which meant they were using dark magic on him, something he wanted to keep his lover away from. But there was nothing he could do and sat down on a bench outside the door. He was only allowed in when Sendak was stable enough to start healing on his own.

The older man was laid up for days and during that time, Lotor ignored most of his princely duties to stay by his lover’s side. Sendak scowled him of course, but Lotor was able to soften him by sucking on his dick. And by the end of the week, Sendak was able to leave and slowly go back to his duties. The next day though, Lotor said something he would later stop regretting.

They were having dinner in Sendak’s room, naked and still sweaty from a quick romp. Semen was still dripping from his ass as he took a bite of steak, watching Sendak carefully as he ate with his bare hands. The man may be rude, disrespectful, and arrogant, but he had his moments of kindness. A gesture here and a few sweet words there. It drew Lotor to the man. Sendak was large and very well built, lightly tan, and his once full head of hair was shaved off at the sides and the rest of it done in many braids down his back. He was handsome. And Lotor didn’t just like the man, he-

“I love you,” Lotor whispered, surprising himself.

Sendak paused in chewing and stared at the prince with furrowed eyebrows. “You what now?”

Lotor shook his head and waved off the comment. “Its nothing. Forget what I said.”

“No no, tell me what you just said.”

Lotor squirmed on the bed and blushed. “I love you.”

“You can’t,” Sendak quickly replied before taking a large drink of his mead.

Lotor furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Why not?” 

“Love is for fools.”

Lotor stilled, knowing what he meant. Sendak didn’t love him, nor would he ever. “Oh…”

Sendak huffed in annoyance at the prince’s look of sadness. “You’re still mine, don’t think I’m going to let you go looking for anybody else to fill that void.”

“Whatever,” Lotor mumbled as he got up, slipping in a robe. His bedroom was only a few doors down and didn’t need to worry about dressing himself as it was late.

Sendak grabbed him and threw him down on the bed, kneeling over him while holding onto the prince’s wrists to keep him from moving. “Don’t get upset now. You don’t need love, it only holds you back.”

“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience,” Lotor said blandly, not believing Sendak for a second. He’s seen what love can do, but this was Sendak. The man, while not entirely evil, was not good and Lotor should leave him then and there. But he couldn’t. Maybe he was obsessed with Sendak just like the man was with him.

“Yes. Love only leaves you hindered and hurt, dragging you down and clouding your vision. Love is for fools. And you’re not a fool.” Sendak removed a hand to cup Lotor’s cheek. “You are smart and strong. Don’t let love cloud who you are.” He kissed him and Lotor let him.

*End Flashback*

…

“Allura!”

Lotor snapped back to reality, realizing he had removed his hand from his face and it was wet. How embarrassing.

“We have every soldier, guard, and druid incapacitated and put in the cells,” the man dressed in red said from where he stood a few steps away. “The death of Haggar suppressed the druids' power and the guards just gave up. The soldiers were a little harder, but they’re in cuffs and locked up tight.” His gaze fell onto Lotor with what looked like concern, but the prince wasn’t sure.

“Good. Thank you Keith. As soon as he’s healed, we’ll figuring everything out,” Allura replied.

Lotor let out a small snort. “Princess Allura. I should have guessed.”

“I’m not surprised you hadn’t. I’ve been thought dead for a very long time.” The glow from her hands stopped and she removed them, standing up and brushing the dirt from her trousers that hugged her legs. “Now let’s get you up and have a talk, mm?”

It wasn’t a suggestion.

Lotor stood up with the help of Keith and let himself be led to the throne room where a short table had been set, already filled by the paladins. He was seated at the head of the table with Allura at the other while the paladins sat on either side of them.

“You’ve won,” Lotor started, sick of the silence. “Congratulations, you have more balls than I could have imagined.” Everyone glared when the paladin dressed in blue and most likely a water mage giggled. Lotor ignored him and continued. “Before we begin, what are your names?”

It started from left to right.

“Shiro.”

“Pidge.”

“Lance.”

“Keith.”

“Hunk.”

“Kuron.”

“Good, now that’s out of the way; what do you want with me?” Lotor leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms loosely over his chest.

“You are the prince, yes? Will you not take the throne and rebuild a better kingdom for your people?” Allura answered, face blank and hands folded on the table.

“I wouldn’t make a good king. I’ll probably become exactly like my father.” That was one of the things that scared him the most. A few times as he grew up, he almost did. The pressure and being around people who thought like Zarkon almost crushed him, almost made him give in. If it wasn’t for Sendak, despite being a bastard, he would have lost his way a long time ago.

“Not from what my reports said.” Allura pulled out a heavy bound book from her satchel and flipped towards the end. “The prince is manipulative, but has a good heart. Prince Lotor brings justice when he can. Lotor helped me escape execution. The prince does not seem to agree with his father and often retaliates by freeing innocent prisoners. And that’s just one page out of many. I believe you are a good person.”

Lotor stops her there with a raised hand. “Let me rephrase that; I don’t want to be king.”

The blue paladin scoffed, drawing attention. “Probably because lover boy is gone.” 

“Lance,” the twin with the shorter hair, Shiro, warned.

“I never wanted to be king, even before Sendak was killed,” Lotor explained further as everyone’s eyes widened in surprise at Sendak’s name. The older man must have done some terrible things. Things Lotor would not have agreed with. “I just want…” to die was left unsaid.

“And you think killing yourself is going to honor him?” Keith asked a bit angrily, the twins' eyes widened. They weren’t there to witness that. “And what if you don’t see him? From the sounds of it, you’re a good guy. Sendak? The worst known human being other than Zarkon. Where do you think he’s ended up and where you will end up? Face it, you’re never going to see him again.”

Hunk placed a hand on Keith, who was now standing, using a touch to calm him down. Keith sat back down with a huff.

Lotor kept his face blank while the red paladin talked, raging on the inside because he knew this would be true. When Sendak was murdered, he wasn’t thinking straight. Hasn’t until now. His brain was clouded by grief, still is, but now Keith got through his fogged mind and made him realize how lucky he is they came when he did. 

“We all have lost someone,” Hunk said gently. “But never someone so close, so none of us can imagine the pain you are going through.” He had more to say, but stopped when a tear slipped from Lotor’s eye. 

Then another. And another until his cheeks were once again wet. Lotor blinked in surprise as he touched his cheeks. “Oh… oh dear. How embarrassing. I’m terrible sorry.” He used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe at his face, but the tears kept falling. “Like-like I said, I don’t want to be king. If you want to talk to someone about being the new king, find Thace. Excuse me.” Lotor stood and hurried out of the room, covering his mouth with his covered wrist as he made his way back to his room and leaving behind a group of surprised and uncomfortable paladins in his wake.

He crumbled to the floor as soon as the door closed behind him and let himself fall apart. He loved Sendak. So much so that it felt like his heart had been ripped from his chest, crushed, and put back in. He knew, now, that he would never meet the older man in the after life, but how could he survive without him? Sendak was his everything. Was in every thought of every day. Sendak made him feel wanted and was a good source of advice, surprisingly. He held Lotor together during hard times, being a bit cruel sometimes, but he made sense.

Lotor heard his chamber door open and close followed by footsteps and the creak of leather armor. The white haired man wiped at his eyes, finally calming down after sobbing loudly and messily. He looked up to see Kuron standing there awkwardly, scratching the back of his head as he looked around the room.

“What do you want?” Lotor demanded, not meaning to sound rude, and stood up slowly.

“I wanted to check on you. Make sure you were alright,” the man said as he rested his stance, clasping his hands in front of him.

Lotor scoffed. “You mean make sure I didn’t try to kill myself.”

“That too.”

Lotor turned away from him and dragged his feet to the window, watching people clean up the mess left behind from the battle. “Why would you care if I did or not?”

“Because you’re a good person who can change the course of this cities future, even if you aren’t king. You already did by killing Zarkon and weakening Haggar before I killed her. But, if you really want to die, have at it, I’ll even stand here and watch the door to make sure no one interrupts you this time.” Kuron didn’t move, though, staying where he stood as he gauged Lotor.

The prince furrowed his eyebrows as he gave a sniffle. “You would really do that?” he asked in disbelief, looking over his shoulder. 

The other shrugged, letting long hair fall over his shoulder. “Sure, it’d be such a waste. But… I know what it feels like wanting to die and people not letting you. It’s frustrating.”

Lotor raised an eyebrow and turned to completely face the man. He let his eyes pass over Kuron, seeing the scars on his wrist and knew there had to be more hidden beneath his clothing. “Why?”

Kuron gave another shrug. “My parents were gone, I was the shadow of my brother and always glanced over, I didn’t get to be with the man that I love, living had become too painful.”

“… Do you still feel like that?”

“Not as much as I used to, but I learned to go get help from my brother or from the other paladins that I trust. It was hard at first since I always wanted to handle things myself, but there are some things you cant.”

Lotor nodded and turned back to the window.

“Since you’re not going to become king, what are going to do now if you don’t kill yourself?” Kuron asked.

Lotor stayed quiet for a moment. “I always wanted to teach ballet.”

Kuron rose an eyebrow, not expecting that answer. “Ballet, huh?”

“I always loved it, but my father did not think it was something a man should do so I was always taught in secret. It was always my dream to become a dancer and teach.”

Lotor jumped when he felt a hand sit on his shoulder and looked to the side to see the other standing there, looking out the window.

“Then do what you want. You gave us someone who could become Galra’s next king, so why not?” Kuron smiled at the prince.

Lotor stared at the other man in awe, the first time being told by someone who wasn’t Sendak to do what he wanted. It was always people telling him how to act, how to look, stand, talk, eat. But now he was free. Free from his mother, his father, and what society wanted of him. His eyes teared up again as he became overwhelmed with relief. Yes, his grief was still there, but it was being overcome with this new emotion he hadn’t felt in such a long time.

Kuron looked at a loss of what to do and was startled when Lotor began to laugh hysterically.  
“I’m free,” the prince whispered into the hand cupped over his mouth. “I’m free!!"

Kuron raised his eyebrows. “Yes, you’re free. Go do…. Whatever.”

And he will. Lotor will live for Sendak and do all the things he always wanted but never could. Grief filled him again, but it wasn’t as strong as before. He smiled sadly as he spotted his knife, which was still lying on the floor in a puddle of blood. He picked it up and held it close to his chest.

“Maybe in our next lives we’ll be together,” Lotor whispered to himself, taking comfort in the hand that settled over his shoulder again.

…

*January 2018*

He took a long sip of his drink, wincing at the slight burn that slid down his throat. Once again, he blew a long white strand of his bangs from his face before forcing it back with his fingers when it fell back. He took another sip, finishing it, and sat it back down with a slight bang.

“-was shot dead after trying to escape Altean state penitentiary. More after this.”

He let out a sound of annoyance and turned away from the TV stationed on the wall behind the bar. Of course Sendak was shot dead. The man was so obsessed with him, it was no surprise the older man would do anything to get to him. He felt bad yes that he was killed, but that man deserved it for how he treated him all these years. But he allowed it for so long… maybe he was obsessed too for how he always craved the man’s touch. 

He groaned as a headache formed and pinched the bridge of his nose. This was good. He hadn’t realized it until Sendak was convicted of murder and put into prison. He had no idea who he had been dating other than an asshole who liked being in control and sometimes showed a softer side. Now he felt like he could breath, especially after the death of his father last month and his mother being convicted as well not too long after for multiple offences. Something that he had a hand in; you could say the police were very grateful for their big break in a case.

“Is this seat taken?”

He badly wanted to say fuck off, but he was made speechless as soon as he turned around. The man before him was a head taller with a very well built body, slightly pale skin, dark gray eyes, and short black hair with bangs slightly longer and swept back and to the side. He blinked before giving a polite smile, receiving one in return.

“Go ahead,” he said and motioned for the stranger to have a seat.

The other did and thanked him. “Sorry, I could tell you wanted to be alone, but there aren’t any seats left.”

He looked around and found there really weren’t any seats left. “Huh.”

“I’m Kuron,” the stranger said and stuck out a hand.

“Lotor,” he replied, shaking the other’s hand.

“Lotor,” Kuron repeated, trying it on his tongue. “Interesting name. Have we met before?”

“Like you should talk. Doesn’t Kuron mean clone in Japanese? And no, I don’t believe we’ve met before.” Lotor smirked as he waved at the barkeep for another drink.

“Huh, well you seem very familiar. As for my name, my parents thought they were being funny and named me that after I came out seconds after my brother.”

“Ah, twins, that is… kinda funny.” Lotor chuckled into his hand and tucked a strand behind his ear.

Kuron scowled playfully before letting out a large grin. “Can I buy your next drink?”

The white haired man gave a flirty smile and nodded. “As long as it isn’t another one of these.” He twirled his newly refilled glass.

Kuron smirked, lowering his eye lids as he gave Lotor a once over. “Whatever you want.”

Lotor returned the smirk. Yes, whatever he wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure where this idea for the story came from as I was trying to do a two to three chapter story of Lotor having a threesome with Keith and Shiro then Lance and Hunk. But I just couldn't get it out right and then this popped out and wouldn't leave so I did this instead.


End file.
